The Trust Bank: Players

The Trust Bank:  Building trust with your coach one investment at a time

Trust- belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.

What do most players want more than anything else?  Playing Time.  You want to play and you want to play a lot.  Since you know that playing is much more fun than sitting on the bench, I will ask you to consider something that will help you maximize your playing time.  Some factors should be understood.  Therefore, I will not be discussing the following factors:

• Adequate skills for the level you are on
• Adequate athletic ability
• Adequate understanding of your coach’s offensive and defensive systems
• Adequate competitive drive

Understand that I am not trying to hurt your feelings here.  I am trying to help you manage your expectations.  If you are struggling in any or all of the departments listed above, grab a towel.  Get ready to be the best towel waving, celebrating teammate you can be and get in the gym/weight room and work on your game.

Once you have obtained the four factors listed above, there is one factor above all that will get you playing time- TRUST.

In big games, the bottom line is… coaches play the players that they trust.  If a coach does not trust your shot selection or your defensive positioning, you are less likely to be on the floor during crunch time.  Trust goes beyond skills and ability.  Your coach also needs to trust you as a person as well.  If you need playing time, you need your coach to trust you.  You must do everything in your power each day to earn the trust of your coach.

Look at it like your coach has a “trust bank”.   With each word and action, you are either making deposits or withdrawals from the trust bank of your coach.  Since trust is the key to your playing time, you must be continuously making deposits to build trust.  Here are some tips to help you make sure that you are making deposits, not withdrawals.

1. Outwork everyone

“If every player in the NBA worked as hard as I did, I would’ve been out of a job.”  -Steve Nash

Every coach has a special place in his or her heart for players who work the hardest.  Nothing will earn the respect of your coach like good, old fashioned hard work.  Coaches never feel good about putting a player into the game who has not put in the work.  It is up to you to put yourself in a position that will allow you to succeed on the basketball court.  If your coach knows that you have put up the shots necessary in the off season to be a good three point shooter, you will likely have the green light to fire the three in games.  You will have earned his trust.  One thing that I have found in my coaching experience, is that if a player brings it every day in practice, it will be much easier for me to stay confident in them and forgive their mistakes in a game.  I trust them.  I respect them.  I believe that they are tough and will turn it around at any time.  Players- work as hard as you can in every practice.  This will be a daily deposit into the trust bank of your coach.

2. Respect is a Two Way Street

Understanding that we must earn the respect of our coach to earn his or her trust, we also must understand that respect goes both ways.  Last year, I was directing a Point Guard College session in Maryland.  During the last classroom session of the week, my co-director and I did a short Q&A session for the athletes in attendance.  One athlete asked a very interesting yet disturbing question.  He asked, “How do I handle playing for a coach who does not know much about basketball?”  He then expounded on that by saying that his coach was damaging his confidence by playing guys in front of him who were not as good as he was.  As he was wrapping up his question, he even used the word “idiot” in reference to his coach.  I was stunned.  Where do I begin?  As my colleague began to respond to the question, I looked around the room.  The faces of the athletes were locked in, showing more visible interest in our answers than I had seen them show the entire week.  It occurred to me that this may be a common thought that many athletes are afraid to say out loud.  I tried my hardest give him an honest answer him in the kindest way possible, but this question made me feel nauseous.  I told him the problem was not his coach.  It was him.

The reality is, even if a coach is the worst coach in the history of basketball coaching, it will not matter if the players are good enough.  Anytime I hear a player criticize their coach, one thought goes through my head- this player is not very good.  That is my first impression.  A good player can overcome a lot.  They do not feel the need to make excuses because they are confident in their abilities  They just go out and play because they love to play.   A group of good players can and will win games even if they are coached by the most clueless coach in the history of the game.

It seems that many players these days actually think they know more basketball than their coach?  But let us use logic to think about this thought objectively.  The coach is a professional.  The player is an amateur.  However, the player (who most likely has less than five years of highly competitive basketball experience) truly believes he has a greater knowledge of the game than the professional coach who makes his/her livelihood coaching the game?  The logic at work here is just non-existent.

Players- RESPECT YOUR COACH.  Show some loyalty.  Real teams have each other’s backs in the toughest of times.  Why would this not apply to your coach?  Why would you not have his/her back?  Is your coach not a part of the team?  Objective logic will tell you otherwise.  Get over yourself and block out any thought that makes you question your coach.  Throw yourself into the culture that your coach has built with everything you have.  You will see that the respect you give your coach will be returned to you.  It is that easy.

In almost every case…

• Your coach knows more about the game than you.
• Your coach will be more objective than you.
• Your coach will care about the TEAM more than you do.
• The combined efforts of you and your coach will make you a better player than your efforts alone.

You also must understand that COACHES HAVE FAVORITES.  You may think this is unfair, but this is simply how it is.  It is this way in almost every aspect in life.  Teachers have favorites.  Bosses in every workplace have favorites.  YOU even have favorites.  Without fail, these favorites will always have one thing in common- MUTUAL RESPECT.  Take steps to become your coach’s favorite.

I challenge you to have an open mind and listen to him.  Learn your teams system inside and out.  Find out exactly what he wants from his players.   Develop a relationship with him so you will know exactly what he wants from you.  It only requires a simple change of focus.  Stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on what your coach focuses on… THE TEAM.  If you are struggling with this, I promise that you will be a better player if you change your attitude in regards to your coach and place all of your focus the team and on getting better everyday.  Make the change from situational focus (what is wrong with my situation) to growth focus (how I can get better today).  You will not regret it.  Even if it is not an immediate remedy for your current basketball situation, you will be actively taking big steps to becoming a better person.

3. Body Language is Key

 

In 1972, a psychology professor at UCLA named Albert Mehrabian conducted a study that found that only 7% of all person to person communication is verbal.  The other 93% is communicated through tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%).   Today, I am sure that verbal communication has gained significant ground on the other two since the introduction of the text message.  However, you will not be able to take your phone into practice of games and communicate with your coach via text.  So you must understand the importance of body language and tone in when you are communicating with your coach.  Let us look at a few ways we can make deposits into the trust bank of our coach during our interactions with him/her.

• Eye Contact- This is the ultimate display of respect one human being can show another. Make it a habit to look people in the eye in every conversation you have.  This is not just a good habit to have with your coach.  It is a great habit to have in your every day life.  You will earn more trust, respect, and friends if you have this great habit on display in all of your interactions

• Head nods- This simple act of respectful body language will go a long way in your endeavor to build up trust with your coach. It accomplishes two main things.  First of all, your coach will be more confident in you.  He will be sure you heard exactly what was said and believe that you are poised and ready to go out onto the floor and execute it.   Secondly, your coach will have more confidence in himself.  Your coach will have a desire to coach you more.   This is human nature.  If a coach gets a good response from a player, the coach is more likely to go back and give more coaching to that player.  It was a positive experience.  This only means that you are likely get more coaching.  You get to be the one constantly getting better and being on the same page as your coach.
• Tone of voice- Be very careful that you never use a questioning tone of voice with your coach in front of the team. This is a withdrawal from the trust bank every time.  If you have a question for your coach, ask him if you can talk about it in private.  You may learn something.
• Gratitude- Have a spirit of gratitude for your coach and the personal sacrifices that they make for you, your teammates, and your school. The reality is that in nearly every case, a high school coaching stipend is less than minimum wage.  They do not do it for the money.  They are doing it for you.  Tell them that you are thankful for them.  It will build trust with them.  It is extremely important to be grateful for everything around you.  In fact, developing a habit of gratitude is essential to living a truly happy life.  Why not start now?

 “Of all the characteristics needed for both a happy and morally decent life, none surpass gratitude.”

–Dennis Prager

 4. Embrace personal responsibility

The sports world in which we currently reside has a need to find someone to blame for everything.  Since ESPN and other 24 hour sports networks cannot show highlights all day long, they talk.  They talk about everything from who is the G.O.A.T. to hindsight game analysis to Johnny Manziel’s alcohol intake.  They love to make conjectures and formulate theories about the reasons for any result in sports.  They will rehash who gets the credit or the blame for wins, losses, locker room discord, streaks, slumps, and any other sports related subject you can fathom.  You cannot fault sports reporters.  They are journalists.  It is their job to tell stories.  Conversely, it is not an athlete’s job to tell stories or explain what happened.  Your job is to compete.

If we are not careful, athletes can let the storytelling mindset of sports journalists slowly infiltrate our own thought processes.  Athletes must be intentional about nurturing a consistently healthy thought process that always places personal responsibility ahead of blame.  Embracing personal responsibility leads to action.  The greatest athletes choose action over words (blame) every time.  Take a look at the comparison below of a player with an athletic approach versus a player with a journalistic approach.

 Athletic Approach vs. Journalistic Approach

Athletic Approach / Journalistic Approach

Takes action / Tells story

Present and Future focused / Dwells in the past

Takes ownership / Places blame on others

Evaluates / Sulks

Leads to improvement / Improvement plateaus

Respectable / Often annoys people

Inspires / Offends

Deposits trust / Withdrawals trust

Instead of finding someone or something to blame for a loss or poor performance, honestly evaluate your play.   Enlist the help of your coach during this process.  You will find that it will be much easier to learn from your mistakes and move forward.  Understand that the hits will come, but it is your response to the hits that will determine the direction your career will take.  

 5. Commit to the truth

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone makes bad decisions at times.  I have undoubtedly made a few today.  The problem is, in order to protect our ego, we are often so caught up in denying our mistakes that we do not give ourselves a chance to learn from them.  Remember- in a growth mindset a mistake is not a mistake.  It is a learning experience.  No matter how big the mistake or how bad the decision, own it.  Own it, so you can learn from it. Whatever you do, do not lie to your coach. Coaches have ears everywhere and they will nearly always find out the real truth.  Honesty is one of the single biggest deposits you can make into the trust bank of your coach.  However, one moment of dishonesty can empty out the trust bank completely.

PLAYERS- ARE YOU MAKING DEPOSITS OUR WITHDRAWALS INTO THE TRUST BANK OF YOUR COACHES?   CHOOSE TODAY TO MAKE DEPOSITS.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COACH AS WELL AS YOUR PERFORMANCE ON THE COURT WILL IMPROVE EXPONENTIALLY.