The Trust Bank: Building trust with your players one investment at a time
Trust- belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.
Basketball is a very simple game when you think about it. You put a ball in a basket. You get points. You keep the other team from putting the ball in the basket. They do not get points. Whoever has the most points when the time is up wins the game. So why is the game as captivating as it is? Why do we love it? We love basketball because it is played 5 on 5 by actual people. Real people with real stories, different skill levels, personalities, etc. Not only that, but each team has a completely different combination of 5 completely unique people on the floor competing at all times. Now when you think about that in terms of variables, you can see that every single possession in every game can be a unique experience. Now, I realize that there is even more to it than that but for now I want to focus on the “people” part of the game of basketball.
The World Values Survey conducted a four year long survey of 400,000 people in 100 countries. They found that the most important thing to people (especially in the US) is relationships (http://www.businessinsider.com/what-do-people-find-important-in-life-2014-7). I truly believe that the single most important factor in any person to person relationship is trust. It is a prerequisite for any meaningful and functional relationship. Since basketball (and any other team sport for that matter) is a game of people, and we know that relationships are very important to people, Trust must be at the core of any successful basketball TEAM.
Kids are different today than they were 20 years ago. Is that a good thing? The jury is still out. Regardless, we must know how to communicate effectively with the kids of today if we desire to reach them and inspire them. That does not mean we must compromise the necessary developmental principles of discipline and accountability with our players. It does mean that we must evaluate our methods to make sure they are effective.
Coaches desire one thing above all others from their players- BUY IN. One of most challenging parts of the coaching profession is getting our players to get outside themselves and buy into the team and the culture we are trying to build. The path to complete player buy-in starts with them buying into YOU! Gaining and keeping the trust of your players is an everyday process. Look at it like each player has a “trust bank”. With each word and action you are either making deposits or withdrawals from the trust bank of your players. Since trust is paramount in our program building efforts, we must be continuously making deposits to build trust. Here are some tips to help you avoid withdrawals.
1. Teach, Teach, Teach.
Kids are savvy. The can smell a fraud in authority from a mile away. They can also tell if a coach is unprepared. If you are a high school coach, they will arrive in your program at a time in their career when they have been taught a few things about basketball. They may even think they know a lot. They may also think their dad or mom is the ultimate source of basketball wisdom on the planet. I know it seems silly, but they will think like this. You need to blow them away with your knowledge. I know you are probably thinking, “I don’t need to impress some little kid.” I thought the same thing at one point in my coaching career. Well, sure you may not have anything to prove, but it helps immensely in your trust building campaign if you are viewed as an expert by your players. Speak with authority. Know your stuff. Continue to grow in your knowledge of the game. Teach and reinforce proper technique on a daily basis. Player development is key at this point in a player’s young career. The more you teach and develop each player, the more trust is deposited into the player’s trust bank.
2. Avoid hard coaching before you have earned their trust.
It can be overwhelming for a freshman to come into a program when the coach comes off like an intimidating maniac right away. You have to make many deposits into a player’s trust bank before you can throw heaters at them. If you want grass to grow, you water it, but it is counterproductive to water your front yard with a fire hose. Accountability is a great tool for coaches. However, our coaching style should not be fear based. Most kids these days do not respond well to that style anyway. It is a withdrawal that results in them constantly looking over their shoulder while they play.
The majority of hard coaching you do should be directed at your most talented and confident players. They know you trust them. You have built their trust throughout the course of their career by communicating to them that they have set a high standard for themselves. Ask them if they are okay with you holding them to that standard. They will always say, “Yes, please coach.” That will make your job easier. They are telling you they want you to coach them up.
Make sure that they understand why you are holding them to a higher standard as well. It is because you believe in them, respect their game, and are committed to helping them be the best they can be on and off the floor. When they know where your heart is, they will take pride in the standard you hold them to. It might even make them feel important. As a result, they will desire coaching from you.
Best of all, the younger players will always be watching. When your best players are incredibly coach-able, there will be a trickle down effect that occurs in the coach-ability of your players for years to come.
3. Take responsibility.
I find it so refreshing when a big time coach takes responsibility for a loss and deflects the blame away from his players in a post game press conference. This is a substantial deposit into the trust bank of the players. Most of the time, players are trying their best. They are trying as hard as they know how to help their team win. When the loss comes they feel terrible. They are down. When a coach comes into a locker room and takes responsibility for his role in a defeat first, it is a deposit into the trust bank. How players carries themselves is usually a direct reflection of how their coach carries himself/herself. If a head coach is the first one to take responsibility, the players are more likely to embrace personal responsibility themselves. Conversely, if a head coach loses his cool on the sidelines, the players tend to start complaining and letting their emotions get the best of them on the court.
If you do make a mistake, own it. Admit it. Your status will not go down in their eyes. It will just be another deposit. We ask our players to take personal responsibility all of the time. If we do not do it ourselves, there will be a massive disconnect with them. This does not mean you are not going to address what they can improve upon and problems that need to be fixed. It just shows them, as the chief of this culture, you are going to take responsibility first and foremost. You will never throw them under the bus when they are doing their best. Make sure you are being real. If you cannot find anything to say in the moment other than blaming someone after a loss, don’t say anything. Just have a post game prayer with them and go sleep on it. Time always brings clarity. Many coaches do not even do post game talks because they feel they are too emotional in the moments after a tough loss. Nobody wants to say something out of emotion that they will have to apologize for tomorrow. Kids will usually accept the apology but they can’t unhear what has been said. A line that has worked for me is, “Guys, we weren’t great tonight, and that starts with me. Tomorrow we will get better.” When you do not blame them, you will find it far easier to coach them.
4. Respect goes both ways.
Nobody LIKES to be yelled at, but if you have coached long enough you know that hard coaching will happen and needs to happen at times. All personalities are different. Some players will need a little extra motivation from you. Hard coaching is especially necessary when a player who has earned your trust begins to make withdrawals from your trust bank. This occurs most often when a player is compromising the culture.
Three quick thoughts on how to keep hard coaching from being a withdrawal from your players trust bank:
- No grandstanding. When there is a crowd, keep your cool. If you feel the need to really go after a player for his lack of effort, challenge them in a huddle or beside them on the bench when you take them out. Grandstanding embarrasses the player. They are publicly humiliated which makes them shut down. They often won’t hear a word you say. No matter how much you feel a player deserves it, it is a withdrawal.
- Give at least three times more positive feedback than negative feedback. All players have the need for you to notice the good things they do. When you notice and give them credit, they are more open to correction. Most men need to hear positive feedback. They desire credit for the things they do. That is just human nature.
- If you treat your players with respect, they will return the favor. I know it is cliché but respect really is a two way street. You can coach hard, but never coach angry. You must be demanding at times, but you must do this with respect. I have found that most good players today respond very well to matter-of-fact brutal truth as opposed to a bunch of yelling.
5. Commit to keeping it real.
Make a commitment to your players right away, preferably in your first meeting when you introduce the culture to them. Commit to telling them the truth no matter what. This is a massive deposit in the player’s trust bank. They must know the reason for your commitment to the truth is because you have their best interests in mind, even if it risks hurting their feelings. At times, you will tell them truths that make them feel great. Other times, you will tell them truths that sting. Raw honesty, however brutal it may be, is the only way to go. Anything else is a great disservice to the player. I know it can be difficult at times. It is just easier to sugar coat things to make a painful pill easier to swallow. DON’T DO IT. If your players catch on (and they will, remember kids are savvy) that you are not completely honest at all times, the damage will be irreparable.
6. Quality Time
Spend time with your players. Invest in their lives off the floor. If you coach multi-sport athletes, go to the football/volleyball/baseball games. Show them you support them. Have team dinners. Take them bowling. You can think of things to do. I hear many coaches say things like, “I love my players as if they were my own children.” That is such a nice thing to say, but if your actions do not line up with your words, it is a withdrawal. Spend time getting to know them. Show them you support them in their non-basketball endeavors. Work on their own individual game with them. The more deposits you invest in the time department, the bigger the trust grows. Keep investing.
Okay, now I just realized that I am starting to sound like a marriage counselor, but it is really amazing how much the last four points are true for a marriage as well. Take responsibility (It’s okay to say ‘I’m sorry’), respect your spouse, be honest at all times, and spend that quality time with them. If you are not already, try to put these concepts into play at home. See if it works. Happy wife= better coach, and that’s a stone cold fact.
Just remember. You are either making deposits or withdrawals from the trust bank of your players. Keep those deposits coming to have a rich coaching career that will live on long after you are gone.
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